The Fever

I've caught it.


The baby fever that is.

Oh goodness. I've been doing so good lately with all my close friends getting pregnant or trying or with newborn babies just coming home. I've been very realistic about it. I even just got over a pregnancy "scare" where my period was almost 2 weeks late. I think that's how I caught the fever. *sigh* I was scared to death thinking of being pregnant again. Feeling guilty every time I looked at LB. But then every time I took a test and it was negative I'd say "oh, good" but deep down, a negative is always a little pain in the heart. And by the end of the two weeks of being late, I was almost okay with maybe being pregnant. I had persuaded myself and pumped myself up enough to know that I could do it. If it was meant to be and I really was pregnant, then yes, I could do it. And I could do it without compromising my relationship with Dennis or LB.

But, I'm not pregnant. And now that I know for sure I'm not I can be a little sad but also a little thankful that I have more time to spend with just Lily. She needs my full attention right now.

I think we'll stick to the plan and maybe try for baby #2 this summer. Maybe. It depends on how life, work, and such is going on. I hope we can try then! I'll definitely have baby fever even worse by then. But if we try by the end of the summer, I can hopefully have a summer time baby. For now I will soak up my time with Lily!