Trying to find my sanity

I think the combination of the interrupted sleep (waking up every 2.5 hours to feed her) and the lack of overall sleep is catching up with me. And when I'm this overtired I just shut down emotionally and physically. I explode over little things and cry my eyes out over something as small as my breast pump not working properly.

Lillian has been going to sleep well at night and even waking up to eat and take medicine fine at 10pm, 1am, and sometimes even 4am. But it's right around 3-7am that is the hardest. For some reason, especially the past two nights, she has been up and playing. And then when she does get tired she won't go to sleep again even when my husband and I try to nurse, sing, rock, or carry her around. It's exhausting and it's definitely taking a toll on me.

I told Dennis that I think it's about time we try to see if her blood sugars stay up enough to do 3.5-4 hour stretches at night. It's hard to test out because the ideal situation would be to try it out during the day. But she likes to eat about every 2-3 hours during the day and I don't really like to make her fast (fasting=fussy baby!) At night she will surely sleep 3.5-4hours easily and then at those times we can check her blood sugar to make sure it's not dropped too much.

I hope we can try that this week and it works. Because by the time I nurse, get her back to sleep and get myself back to sleep I only sleep about 2.5-2hr stretches at night and then I'm back up with her around 6am again. It's frustrating.

The only big thing I'm looking forward to this week? My husband finally rebooked my spa day for tomorrow! This was my mothers day/anniversary present. I am getting a first time facial, massage, manicure and pedicure! I am so excited. This is something I really, really need right now. Oh, and Dennis and I went to the mall yesterday with Lily. He bought me a gift card to VS and told me to pick something out to make me feel sexy (because I obviously have not been feeling very sexy lately..) I got two really nice bras. My only thought now that I have them is...when am I going to wear them!? I'm constantly wearing nursing tank tops and nursing bras! The only time I could wear them is when I'm without Lily...which is NEVER! hrmph.