Today

Today has been a good day.

I wasn't too worried it would be bad. If it was, I would handle it as it came. As I mentioned before, this is my first solo day in a long time. Normally, if Dennis went back to work, he'd be home now to help me. Anyway, it turns out that I didn't really need his help today. Now, don't take that the wrong way, honey. I appreciate his help when he's here. But it was really good to have the house to myself. To make funny sounding voices for stuffed animals and read "Green eggs and ham" as loud as I wanted to (Lily enjoyed that!)

It was also really good to have Lillian to myself. And it was a HUGE confidence builder to have been able to get through the day so far. (And the night, I should say.) Lily actually woke me up last night instead of the alarm doing the work. It seems she needs to eat about every 3 hours (alarm was set for 3.5) but that wasn't too bad because she went back to sleep easily each time. We had a pretty normal day that involved naps together and playing and silliness.

I lost something of myself when Lillian got sick. I lost confidence in myself as a mom and as I said before, I constantly second guess things. But today...today felt like a normal day. We even had someone come by the house to train me on giving a new shot (hgh) but that didn't put a damper on the day at all. I know that I'm a good mom and I know I do everything I can possibly do for my daughter. I think the fact that she was so sick and didn't feel good for the first part of her life without me knowing about it was a big blow to my heart.

I'm trying to put that behind me and start fresh.

And today was a great start :)

Playing under the crib after she rolled under there (silly baby!)

My sweet girl :) 4 days away from 6 months!!