Best Part of the Day

The best part of my day is between 7-8pm when I am getting Lillian ready for bed. It's funny because I spend all day with her but for some reason our bedtime routine seems like only our time, like no one else can be included (sorry daddy!) And the best part of that time is after a bath and/or lotion, she's in her clean jammies and we sit down in the glider to nurse. She's all snuggly and content. There's no crying or unlatching like she sometimes does during the day. I think she knows now that this is her "dinner time" because lately she's been feeding off both sides (where normally she just eats off one during the day) and has her fill so she can sleep longer.

Anyway, she only has eyes for me during this nursing session where usually she's looking other places. She has the sleepy eyes and sometimes she'll smile while still eating like she's kinda daydreaming, or just really content :) I get to just look her over, hold her hand, play with her hair and snuggle her close. I love it and it winds me down as well and makes me just as content.

Now I know why people get upset when their children self wean when their not ready to stop nursing yet. It really is a special bond. I knew it the first time my body produced milk that this would be a different kind of bond because I was providing for my daughter in a way no one else can. But it's time like tonight where I'm just rocking in my glider with the lights down low, soft music playing, staring at this wonderful little girl snuggled in my arms nursing and smiling around me that I am so thankful that I can do this for her.