Can't catch a break.

Lordy Lord. I'm pretty sure I've said this before but it needs to be said again,

I believe in the saying that the person upstairs will never give you more than you can handle but man, I'm at it. You hear me!? I'm there. at my breaking point.

Really though, I'm holding on pretty well. Maybe I'm used to all these kicks while we're down. I actually think I'm quite numb to it now. Numb. What an awful feeling to have...but that's what it seems like. Either that or I'm entirely too easy going, and me being so overly emotional, I don't think easy going about all this is what I'm feeling...

We went to Lily Belle's 12 month appointment finally (last weeks was cancelled because of snow.) Here are her stats:

29 1/4 inches long

15lbs 5oz

So she has gained 1 ounce in the past TWO MONTHS. She is officially FTT (failure to thrive) again...although I guess we never really removed that label from her. And yes, I'm not much of a label liker but sometimes you just got to hear it and know it and move on from it.

Anyways, so she is refusing to eat again. You name it, I've tried it. Feeding her in front of the TV, giving her spoonfuls of water between bites of food, giving her warm, cold, textured, finger foods, purees, favorite foods etc etc. The only thing she will take every time is liquids.

So we are switching her back to formula until she can catch up a bit....which really, have we ever caught up? It feels like we're always playing catch up.

This time though we are trying soy formula since ailumentum is so darn expensive (at least $10 more than regular formula per can) When we catch back up to a good weight and she starts eating again, we can either switch her back to lactaid, do soy milk or soy toddler formula. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

And on top of that she is constipated. Bad! TMI alert? She goes everyday but it's hard and pellet like and it just breaks my heart! We tried straight apple juice, prune juice, more water, more fiber etc etc. So we're starting her on some miralax tonight. Pedi thinks it may be from her lack of nutrition from not eating plus drinking a ton of milk (hello, that's where she gets all her calories!) So a combo of the miralax and switch to formula should clear that up...hopefully...

Lily also has her first ear infection. *sigh* Way to kick us while we're down...right?

She has had this cold for going on two weeks now. TWO WEEKS! Poor baby had the worst snot nose. Babies and colds are just awful. They can't blow their noses and the ickies just sit there and ugh. It's so sad.

Anyways, so she had the snot nose, then the eye goops, and now a cough and worse eye goops. And lo and behold, she also has the ear infection. Pedi thinks that the cold moved into her sinuses causing a sinus infection and thus moving into her ears yadda yadda. So she is also starting amoxicillin today too. I'm just crossing my fingers it doesn't cause any thrush since she is already high risk for it.

So. Lots to change about this week. And I put a call into UNC for the feeding team. A lot of her progress is weighing on their shoulders and I haven't even met them!! I just hope they can help. A lot of my hope is hanging on them helping her...shoot, all my hope is!

Okay. I'm going to go sit and....sit. just for a minute while LB is sleeping...I just need to sit and breathe.