Every day I think to myself, "Wow. This parenting thing is so much harder than I thought it would be."
Sleep isn't getting any better. I have started getting up with Lily around 3am and taking her into the guest room so we can get at least one more hour of sleep without her crying in the background. It's just one more thing I'm going to have to break her of when this is all settled.
Just like sleeping on the floor.
And laying down with her until she's fully asleep.
And the paci.
I woke up this morning with a horrid headache and immediately started crying when we came downstairs. I had to make myself stop because it would only make the headache worse. I then poured out my first pot of coffee and made a stronger one, put good ole Mickey Mouse on and laid down where I promptly slept through the first episode (with minimal peeks to make sure Lily was not destroying the house.) I did wake to find cheerios all over the floor and nutri grain bar smeared on the couch but at least my headache was gone.
I am ashamed and embarrassed to say that I think we're on episode 4 of Mickey this morning...but we've also been up for 4 hours.
I feel like I am barely making it through the days. I know it's crazy but I feel like everyone else is just hop, skipping and jumping through their days and I'm dragging both feet with my head down and my spirit bruised. Maybe people are just much better at hiding their true feelings than I am.
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Don't feel bad about the amount of Mickey! Girl, do what you have to do!
ReplyDeleteParenting is so much harder than I ever thought, too! In my before Coop days, if I saw a wild child out in public or if a kid stared at me while I was eating, I thought "wow, what shitty parents!". Now, I totally get that the parents aren't ignoring their kid while said kid is all up in your business but they're trying to shovel food in their mouths while they can. And, the wild child in the grocery store probably refused to take a nap because in all their "insert age" wisdom thinks that they know everything and who the hell is going to make ME take a nap. Being a mom is not for the weak, sho nuff!
Repeat, "this is only a phase" 10 times with a deep breath in between and I'm sure that will lift your spirts, hell, it works for me ;)
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ReplyDeleteToday my kids watched 4 episodes of the Power Rangers and a movie. That's 4+ hours of TV. Nice. Today the toilets got cleaned but most days I am totally unproductive and we watch even more TV than we did today!
ReplyDeleteI am training myself not to feel guilty and going easy on myself when I do feel guilty. I love my kids. We have fun. I'm nowhere near perfect and never will be. I am rewiring my very way of thinking to "ACCEPT the things I cannot change..." and to be at peace. To always return to serenity (even if I lose that serenity 100 times a day). It's about the return.
And I love your truthfulness.