That might be a constant theme in my blogging. Feeling down and out and then having a better day and reminding myself that I can do this and that, hey, I'm pretty damn awesome because not only am I managing, but I'm thriving. So what if I don't get 8 hours of sleep every night, or can barely manage a coherent sentence most of the day. Who cares if I look like I've been beaten up or that I'm usually going on day three of no shower. I'm a mom and it's kind of my badge of honor.
This week while I've been battling water demands, sodium, pee sheets, gaging and throwing up, wake up calls 2-4 times a night and doctor's visits and calls, I have still managed to keep the house relatively intact and somewhat clean. I have made dinner every night this week. I have cleaned the kitchen every night this week. I have woken up every morning and greeted Lily with a smile even while I chanted "coffee coffee coffee" in my head and have already started the countdown to nap time.
I may not always have it together or do everything the way it should be but I take care of my baby and my husband as best I can and I have to say that I think I'm doing a pretty damn good job. I need to pat myself on the back every now and then because it's hard!
And speaking of my husband, I should give a special shout out to him because he's been pretty tolerant of me waking him up at night by throwing the covers over his head in a huff and yelling "THIS IS RIDICULOUS!" and then storming off to rock/change/water Lily again. And not once has he called me out on it (wink!) He's pretty amazing and I'm glad we decided not to bring up mean things said during the night (That was out rule when Lily was a newborn. We would snap at each other and say mean things when we were sleep deprived so we decided not to count anything said between 12-6am. It works!)
Anyway. Enough of the sadness. For now.
I may feel defeated at times but I never truly am.
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