No Mommy, Just Daddy.

*sigh* I know, I know, I know in the back of my mind that this is just another phase. I have been through this one before but it doesn't hurt any less. And to be honest, it makes me feel like a complete loser of a mom. Yes, in the popularity contest of my family I am ranked lowly at the bottom, down there with the stinky, mean cat and the lazy, fat dog.
Never-you-mind that I carried this little heart of mine for 9+ months, went through hell and back keeping her alive and safe, get up with her every night at least twice, if not more, and on top of all that, I run a household. Daddy is more fun, Daddy is more patient, Daddy doesn't reprimand all the time and say "No" hardly at all and Daddy is the one Lily Belle wants to play with. Where is this coming from? Let me paint you a picture.

It's a lazy, rainy Sunday here and we're lounging around in our PJs, passing the time in bed, all three of us, watching crap TV. LB has a little stuffy nose so we didn't want to take her out of the house. She asks for Daddy to play cars [again] and so I figure I'll tag along so he doesn't feel like I'm making him do all the playing in the house (seriously, playing with LB is no joke. It's tough work!) As I'm getting up LB turns around with her hand on the door knob and points at me,

"No, Mommy, You stay here."

My sweet toddler just spoke to me like a freakin' teenager. She even had that authoritative sass. Of course Daddy stepped in (thankfully) and told her to be nice and apologize but the fact is, the apology means nothing because she meant what she said. And what I heard was, No mommy, daddy is more fun and patient. And the truth is it hurts more because I know she's right! How much does that suck? 

And yes, again, this is a phase. This happened sometime before she could talk when her little arms would reach out for Daddy instead of me. Or Daddy needed to read a bed time story instead of me. And again during the awful sleep period where I really was a big ole grump and no fun to play with. I understand those times. I get it, I do, but really, it doesn't make it hurt any less. I know that when she is playing with Daddy she doesn't ask to see me. But when we play together she asks to see Daddy. The first thing she does when she wakes up is ask to see Daddy. It's getting a little bit old.

And could I take this as a nice little break to get some things done? No, because I feel guilty that Den has to entertain her all the time. And I feel like a bad mom on top of it all. And of course, now I'm sulking and contemplating preschool - hah!