Hard

I've been having a rough time lately.

So I'm going to vent. If you don't want to hear me bitch and moan then click away....now.

My realtor and I went on another house search today and it was a total disappointment. It was one lousy house after another and it really just dragged me down. I did another search when I got home and found some more promising houses. I'm not giving up. If we don't find our house this go round or we get rejected by another thick-skulled, stubborn, stupid ass seller again then we're going to take a little break and wait for a new round of houses. But we're not giving up yet. I'm sending tons of emails to my realtor with possible houses.

I think my friend said it right today, I really just wish good things could happen to good people that deserve it. I found myself so shaken, confused and plain angry at the way things work in life today. Not about anything I'm going through (though I do often have days like that about myself) but about a woman I have come to know and care for.
But, that's all I'm going to say about that business because it ain't mine.

And lastly, and the most frustrating.

Yes, you guessed it. Lily isn't eating. Lunch was a total fluke (though I really appreciate the prayers from Emily and Asher!) I guess I should start praying harder (but I'm still shaking my fist about what happened today with my friend so that'll have to wait...)
Anyway, Dinner last night was nothing.
Breakfast: 2 cheerios
Lunch: 1 goldfish
Dinner: 1 goldfish and piece of egg I shoved in her mouth (yep. I did. totally guilty.)

So really, for each meal she is having a concentrated 8 oz sippy cup of formula and she couldn't be happier. I offer her a lot of choices (but not too many to confused or overwhelm!) and then I offer purees, usually two different kinds.
I'm at my wits end.
Again.

I don't know if I should go ahead and call Krisi over at UNC and have her suggest something to do before Tuesday, wait it out, or call the pediatrician. She's drinking and they're always happy with that because at least she's getting nutrients.
Speaking of drinking, I carry a little cooler upstairs with me that contains 2 sippy cups with 4 ounces (starting tonight, 4oz and 6oz) of formula. They are for her usual midnight drink + medicine and then again for when she wakes up screaming between 4-6am. Even when she's up crying and won't CIO and I go in to rock her, she sits up and points at the table where her sippy cups usually are and then throws a fit when I tell her there's no more or it's not time yet or you just had some.
Fun times.
So is her reflux acting up? Is her sodium too high? Is she just not hungry?
I think we were just here a few weeks ago? Right? Or am I just stuck in an endless cycle?