Frazzled

I am feeling so totally overwhelmed. Stressed to the max. Stretched way too thin.

This is how my mind is working these days:

Lily, Lily, Lily, Visual therapy, Feeding therapy, Glasses, House, Home, Money, Breakfast, Lily, Money, Money, Money, House, Lily, GI and appetite stimulants, Walking, Talking, Mickey Mouse.

In a constant, endless cycle. Did you see ME anywhere in there? No. And I feel like I'm sacrificing a lot of ME lately which I hope is just a temporary thing. I'm missing playgroups and meet ups and feeling totally out of the loop with everyone. I will make this temporary. All of sudden I just got completely swamped with appointments and things with the new house. It might get a little worse before it gets better because I now have to start packing and spring cleaning.

Today we have our visual therapist from GMP coming to see Lily in her new glasses, do an assessment and help me figure out if we still need to patch one of Lily's eyes. Thursday we have our Feeding Team meeting to see a new GI and figure out if we need to get Lily on an appetite stimulant. She's eating lunch and dinner really well but breakfast is still non existent.

That's been pretty tough. I had a breakdown in feeding therapy last week but the therapist reassured me that we are doing fantastic because of her amazing weight gain. Sorry, I'm not feeling it. She's still only eating purees (and some puffs) she tries regular food but she just holds it in her mouth, probably waiting for it to dissolve like the puffs do.
Then our pediatrician called, bless her, to check in with me to see if I agreed with seeing a new GI as the UNC feeding therapist suggested. I, again, broke down in tears saying that YES, we need HELP! I don't understand why she just won't eat and when she eats at lunch or dinner, why won't she chew!? It's so frustrating.

Oh, and while I'm on a roll...nap time is another little battle. She has been playing for about an hour in her crib before getting to sleep. And yesterday? TWO HOURS of playing in her crib AND NO NAP. And she seemed fine with it!
I am totally not okay with her dropping her last nap already. She's not even 18 months yet!

So I think I will end this post with a tiny prayer, one for ME.

I pray that I can have more strength to deal with my stress of late; more patience to deal with my struggles; and more vision to see the amazing leaps and bounds my daughter has taken these past few weeks (eating two meals, WALKING!)

Maybe I need to take up yoga?