Some days

Naturally, Some days are good days and some are bad days. When I go through enough bad days in a row I think I just can't take it anymore. I do one of two things: I either break down (so I can build myself back up, I guess) or I just forget it and be happy. I know that sounds weird but it's like I get so sick of being down. So tired of being negative.

I was up 3-4 times last night like usual these days. I had to get up at 7 when Lily woke up (when I was only up 2 hours previously giving medicine and nursing) and also while Dennis slept in - even when he wasn't the one to get up at all with Lily (that's a sore spot for me lately, being so sleep deprived of course...) Anyway, I guess I just decided, maybe not even consciously, to have a better day despite what we're going through.

Part of it could be that I got a shower early on (oh the little things in life..), or that Lily ate really well, is such a pleasure to be around 90% of the time, and that I was able to get out of the house, if only for an hour. And really, the trip out of the house - it was to the hospital to pick up the last piece of paperwork for SSI and to get Lily's blood drawn (checking sodium and blood counts.) But despite all that, I am still in a good mood. Lily has been playing, eating well, acting better and we even got a nap in already. She slept about an hour and I got in a 30 minute nap, which is better than nothing.

Another good thing today? I put the rest of the SSI paperwork into the mailbox. The appeal is officially out of my hands now! I am relieved and just happy that it's all done. Now we just wait and see what happens. At least I know that I tried my hardest, getting all the paperwork done (which was so tedious!) and getting our pediatrician and our endocrinologist to write a letter for us. I'm so happy that's taken care of!

Some days are just meant to be better days. And maybe I should start taking the initiative and make ordinary days into better days.